As we discuss in the book, some strains of food poisoning are worse than others but how bad is yours? Why not request a phone appointment with your doctor and have ready for them the following information …

          How often are you being sick or pooing?

          What does the vomit and poo look like?

          Is there any obvious blood within the poo or vomit?

What about pus or mucus?

          Where, exactly, on your body does it hurt and how? Different infections are associated with pains and cramps in different parts of the body so be quite specific – paint me a picture!

          Are you running a temperature or feeling feverish?

          How long have you been feeling like this?

          Is there any activity you have been involved in, or particular food you have consumed over the last few days, that could account for your fragile condition? Damn it – what are you pinning it on?

          Is anyone else in your household or immediate circle of friends or family also suffering in the same way?

          Does eating lessen or worsen the pain? 

          What have you done to treat yourself so far?

I suspect that the doctor on hearing this detailed array of evidence will think you’re wonderful and no doubt instigate a dynamic programme of medical intervention appropriate for your needs. The chances are that they’re already aware what particular stains of infection are currently doing the rounds at that time and can make a pretty educated guess as to what you have and whether you would benefit from any particular course of medication. Feel free to cut and paste these questions as well so that you can email them to your doctor. We hope you feel better soon … and remember that there are numerous articles to read on our website whilst sitting on the toilet!