How to survive your police career

The Car’s The Section Star!

The Car’s The Section Star!

Here’s a little game to banter around the team while waiting for briefing to start – if everyone on the section had to be represented by a car, what car would that person be? Any takers for the …

  • Saab 9000 – glorious and sporty in their day, but that turbo blew out years ago.
  • Citroen 2CV – under-powered, somewhat fragile and always smoking in the back yard.
  • Mazda MX5 – sporty – great fun … wonderfully impractical.
  • VW Polo – always pleasant – rather mouse-like.
  • Mini Cooper – tiny, weeny little officer bursting with personality – loves a bun fight.
  • Ford Granada – “… there was nothing wrong with the ‘eighties …!”
  • Mercedes B Class – always going on about Waitrose.
  • BMW 5 Series – “… I like rugby …!” Both sexes.
  • Souped-up Ford Focus RS – Advanced, TPAC, Taser, Level 2 … go-get-‘em … got dumped off their firearms course last year but no-one knows why.
  • Land Rover of any description – lives somewhere remote and daughter has a horse.
  • Ancient Land Rover – used to be in the Army.
  • Toyota Hilux – squat, bull-like chest – runs a business on his days off laying paving slabs and block-paving.
  • Toyota Hilux Deluxe – used to run a business laying paving slabs but then got into house renovations and buying to let, and has now got more money than he knows what to do with.
  • Knackered Peugeot 206 Diesel – both kids are at university and are costing them a fortune. Loves overtime.
  • Ten year Old Volvo Estate – always going on about Classic FM and skiing.
  • Range Rover Vogue – other half’s a hairdresser.
  • Vauxhall Corsa – probationer.
  • Vauxhall Corsa In A Different Colour – the other probationer.
  • BMW X5 – partner earns a whole lot more than they do.
  • Alfa Romeo Giulia – kids have finally left home, mortgage is paid off and they retire next year with a massive lump-sum.
  • Utterly immaculate VW Golf – loves a complex fraud job … adores disclosure … only one on the team who truly understands that latest IT system which everyone is complaining about.
  • Thirty-year Old VW Van With Roof Bars For Their Surf Board – always late in because of some mechanical failure. Gets regularly challenged over length of hair.
  • Toyota Yaris With Permanent Bike Rack – generally cycles in on a road bike which costs more than the car.
  • Knackered Audi A4 – been borrowing Mum’s car since the divorce.
  • Different Car Every Week – spends their rest days down the car auctions.

Any others? Send them in … let’s compile a definitive list!


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